Watching You
by silmarien189
Summary: "The way you look at me… like I'm the only colorful thing in a world of black and white… why, Scorpius?" My first attempt to write a fan-fic in English...Please, be tolerant!


**Hi, this is the first fic I dare to post here. It's certainly not the best and my English is pretty poor. However I've wanted for so long to make my small contribution to this great site… Hope you will enjoy it (although the story is not exactly fun).**

**Disclaimer: I actually **_**am**_** J.K.R. and I own everything. Yeah… Sure I do…in my dreams… LOL **

_**Watching You**_

_Scorpius_

I saw them. Rose and her boyfriend. Smiling to each other, holding hands, as if nothing else mattered but their love. I had promised to stop staring at her like I've done for the past six years. But how can I possibly stop looking at her, at her perfect auburn curls, at the way her brown eyes shine when she is excited? I suppose she is excited now, at the Gryffindor table, while that Thomas boy keeps talking and talking, although I couldn't see if her eyes were sparkling or not. And if they were, did they sparkle the way I made them sparkle yesterday.

_We were doing our Prefect duties together. Barely talking, as usual, for we barely even know each other. Each of us consumed by his own thoughts. And then she stopped me and for the first time looked me straightly in the eyes. I felt lost in those big brown eyes of hers. And then she smiled. A true, genuine, slightly confused smile. _

"_Why do you keep staring at me?" she asked. _

"_Staring? I'm not staring at you." I replied, as coldly as possible. _

"_Don't lie to me", she insisted. "I am not stupid, Scorpius Malfoy. I've noticed it since forever. You never stop watching me and everybody knows that. They think that it's creepy and weird. That you are weird. But the truth is I never minded. The way you look at me… like I'm the only colorful thing in a world of black and white… why, Scorpius? _

_I just couldn't take my eyes off her face. And then I did what I never thought I'd have the courage to do. I grabbed her in my arms and kissed her. And she didn't slap me. Didn't run away terrified, screaming "maniac" at me. She answered to the kiss. Her soft tiny body was crowded to mine; her hands were touching my face with some strange gentle desperation. And then she pulled away. Her beautiful eyes were sparkling in a way I'd never seen them before. Not when she was getting the highest results in each and every test. Not when she was having fun with her cousins and friends. And certainly not when she was with her ideal Gryffindor boyfriend. _

_I spoke. "I keep watching you because you are exactly what you said. The only colorful thing in a world of black and white."_

_Then she spoke again and her voice was like a sign. The light was slowly fading from her eyes. _

"_My life_ is_ colorful. I have a great family, friends… I have a boyfriend, for Merlin's sake! And he loves me and supports me and is always there for me. And I can't do this to them… to him. I'm not that person. And do you want to know a secret, Scorpius…You're not the only one who has been watching. I've been watching you almost as much as you've been watching me. You've always thrilled me, intrigued me in a way nobody else has ever does. But to hurt everybody I love just to be with you… I'm not that person. And there is something I know about you… you're not that person either."_

_Her eyes were now wet with tears. I wanted more than anything to dry these tears. To hold her in my arms and say that everything will be ok. For a second I wanted to pretend that we live in a different world. That her dad doesn't hate my dad. That she is not a Gryffindor and I am not a Slytherin. That she doesn't have a nice, loving boyfriend who will be devastated to know about our kiss. But this is not the perfect world I picture. This is reality and there was only one thing I could do to make her feel ever a little better. _

"_I won't stare at you anymore, Rose. Never. I promise"._

_She slowly nodded and whispered: "Close your eyes."_

_I felt the sweet gentle caress of her lips, barely touching mine for one last time. Then a moment later I opened my eyes and Rose was gone…_

But I can't stand it anymore. Being so close to her and not being allowed to even look at her. So I grab my stuff and leave the Great Hall as quickly as possible. I have to keep my promise but with every step that moved me away from her I feel my heart is breaking.

_Rose_

My boyfriend Sean Thomas keeps telling me about his last quidditch practice. About the exact number of goals he saved, about everybody in the team saying he is such a bloody brilliant keeper. I smile absent-mindedly, while playing with my fork and pretend to be listening carefully. To be honest, Sean _is_ really quite a brilliant keeper. Besides he is pretty attractive, with his smooth chocolate skin, muscular built and hazel eyes. He is smart, confident and deeply in love with me. We've been dating for 7 months now and we are the perfect Gryffindor couple.

But if everything is so perfect, why can't I actually enjoy the conversation with my boyfriend. Why instead of kissing him and saying how proud I am, I secretly ask myself: "Does he never stop talking?" And immediately feel guilty about it. It's not Sean's fault. It's all me. Yesterday I realized that I am an awful person. A sneaky, deceitful person. Why has the Sorting Hat even put me in Gryffindor? I force myself to stay focused on my meal and on pretending to be listening to Sean's constant chatting. I forbid myself to look across the Hall, towards the Slytherin table. I know what I'll see if I look down there. A pair of stormy grey eyes half-hidden behind locks of messy blond hair. Desperately trying to avoid mine, as promised. Those eyes which have constantly been following me since First Year. Eyes that have secretly fascinated me but which gaze I never dared to meet. Not until yesterday. And I will never dare to meet again. Ever.

"Rose, are you listening to me?" the voice of my nice, loyal, better-deserving boyfriend barely reaches me.

"Sure", I force myself to smile. "Every single word".

"Rose… he hesitates for a second. His bright eyes find mine and the love I see in them is more than I can take. "I love you. You know that, right". He grabs my hand and squeezes it lightly.

"Of course I know". I whisper. And then I see _him_, leaving the Great Hall. Alone as always. Not for a second does he hesitate when passing near our table. He doesn't show any sign that he knows me or cares about me. Just like he promised. It is me who fails. I can't stop myself from looking towards his direction. From wondering what he is thinking and whether it is as difficult for him to go on with his life as if nothing has ever happened. As if yesterday never happened. My eyes are following his tall upright figure. And watching him leave while I'm stuck here in this conversation, this relationship, this life…Trying not to imagine what would be if I was not Rose Weasley and he was not Scorpius Malfoy… it breaks my heart.

**That's it. Maybe the plot-line is not that great but I had the greatest fun writing it and even more fun revising for grammar and spelling mistakes :))) xoxo from Bulgaria :)))**


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